"I Am Not Scared" Project
The described bullying event occurred in 2011 between twin sisters. One of the twins takes responsibility for both of them and continuously controls everything the other twin does by means of words and actions. Another sister, less capable of controlling herself and behaving correctly, rebels against her sister:
The first sister likes authority, in every possible way is trying to manage the class, teachers, and social educators, and is confident of her authority, which, unfortunately, in recent times degraded. The first sister thinks she is the victim, during interviews class and social educators tried to find out more about this unpleasant situation, but due to different opinions and the persistent disagreement the pedagogical-psychological aid had not been accepted.
The head of the school, class teacher and social educators monitor, coordinate the behavior of the girls‘, but it is difficult to maintain the cordial and open relationship. Sixteen-year-olds teenagers do not realize the meaning of psychological-care, assistance and communication. The twins believe they are independent and give hard time for people who want to get close to them.
High self-esteem, resistance to the sister's lead. Whereas previously the girls perfectly agreed during adolescence the changed views on the human values has led to confrontation. The girl didn‘t regret her behavior. Not only children, but also the teachers seems to think that the current state is naturally anything but shy or modest, the behavior is controversial, she has no regrets.
Class teacher was the first to notice the difference of these sisters’ behavior, learning and conduct culture. Discussions with both girls were organized. They debated openly, it seemed that both understood what's going on, but it led only in the short term changes. The biggest issue is that both girls are constantly together: they attend the same school and are in the same class, also attend the same non-formal education classes; everyday they come to school and go home together, they have common friends. They both suffer from their parents' divorce. At present, the parents still live together, but disputes mostly takes place in the presence of the girls.
Class not immediately acknowledged the controversy in sisters’ behavior and actions and not all the students went deep, what's going on in the minds of the girls, why they started to openly constantly oppose each other. In the classroom, they have been recognized as equal; just the first was calmer than the other as she was more rebellious which is usually perceived as normal teenager behavior. Only later the students began to openly talk about the growing discord between the sisters, the first sister was being the mother figure and the second constantly bullying because of the care and protection. Even the boys began to acknowledge the second‘s sister‘s wrong behavior towards her sister. The students informed class teacher, social educators; they didn‘t ask for assistance, however, gave specific facts about the girls' behavior. There were interventions when friends tried to reconcile the arguing sisters, but their view towards each other have not changed.
During discussions with the girls class teacher sometimes found compromises. In most cases, this was a short-term improved relation.
Teachers even during lessons took discipline actions towards the girls, talked to them, found numerous agreements, sometimes these discussions resulted in peaceful negotiations. The social educators regularly consulted the twins about good manners, tried to constantly interact, invite to have a cup of tea during breaks, to involve into cultural and social projects. In the context of the various tasks the sisters were together anyway. The first regularly performed the largest part of the work, and the second was abusing sister's kindness and kept constantly ignoring her in the presence of educators by words, actions and bad manners.
The school director and administration received information about the discord of the twin sisters from class teacher and later from social pedagogues.
The discussions were carried carefully; the girls were silent and involved willingly to the proposed activities. The girls didn‘t express openness, were quiet and approving. No hostility was present during the discussions. It was made clear that at home the first sister does everything and the second likes to laze away the day and ignores the sister's actions. Parents had no interest in daughters’ behavior since the beginning of marriage problems.
The father haven‘t visited the school. The mother has been called to come to school, during the conversation had her family situation withheld from educators and have not attempted to clarify the reasons for disagreement, she accepted the situation quietly and a bit indifferent. It seemed the mother was well aware of the state of twins’ communication but now it is simply convenient to have at least one daughter who does all the household choirs responsibly and takes charge.
The mother of the twins explains that from birth the girls have very different characters and behavior. It has become natural that first girl became a bit abandoned and not equally recognized, and the second, due to unknown circumstances, became more beloved and cared. She was allowed to rebel against whatever, act as she wanted, gets anything not based on merit. The second daughter was even dressed better, with more fashionable clothes, and the first sister had to wear used clothing. It remained up till now and in the family is considered to be the norm. An interesting fact was observed when during the meeting the mother was sitting together with the rebellious daughter, while the first daughter was sitting alone and obviously was extremely angry that her mother and sister sat together and didn‘t interact with her.
The social educators sorted out the situation partially thanks to the class teacher, partially by themselves. It was acknowledged that, during luch breaks, the second sister, sometimes is even aggressive at her sister, teachers had to make remarks about the use of swear-words. The main educational method was systematic discussions and the ongoing conversations, mostly after school and during different project activities. The social educators called their mother to discuss; they analyzed confrontations during classes and after classes, analyzed the reasons for the negative effects of parents’ divorce, talked about parents’ behavior at home. The girls have told that parents have open disputes. The father still resides in the family, the mother of it going out of the House. The father currently does not work, the mother is the only working member of the family and she works in shifts. The communication with teenage daughters is episodic.
Lately, the father does not give the attention needed to his daughters, almost doesn’t communicate with them, he has closer relationship with his two adult sons, who live together with them. Social educators explored that brothers does not interfere in parents relationship, they are quiet and calm.
Pedagogical assistance provided by the social educators sometimes calms disputes between sisters. It was also suggested to go to the doctor or psychologist.
This continues bullying in school event is not public. It was proposed to twins’ mother to take care of her daughters by herself, firstly to seek for the medical consultation or psychologists’ assistance, so school administration didn’t contact public authorities’ opinions.
Comments and conclusions of this case study:
1. The reason of these bullying actions is unstable situation in the family because of parents’ divorce and because of minimal communication with the daughters.
2. A negative family tradition- to care more for one of the twin sisters and pay less attention perhaps the respect and love to the other.
3. Adolescent period brings rebellious actions in teenagers mind.
4. The cause of continuous bullying is girls' being very private and not willing to accept help when speaking confidentially.
5. The ignorance of the class friends of the girls’ family conflicts.
6. The offered assistance from the school in the family (mother) is indifferent or simply not accepted.
7. The school provided best possible educational help, while ensuring the short term improvement of relations between the twins.
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I Am Not Scared Project
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